Confidence is Claimed, Not Earned: Reclaiming Your Bold, Unapologetic Self

It’s something you step into, awkwardly at first, like a pair of new boots that feel too stiff and too loud. And yet, you walk anyway. You show up. You speak. You risk being seen.

In 34 years of walking this earth, what I’ve learned is this:

We never really grow up. We just grow older.

And if confidence doesn’t rest on your shoulders naturally, you put it there yourself.
Like your favorite oversized knit scarf, one you wrap around you again and again until it starts to feel like part of you.
At first it slips, needs adjusting, but eventually…
You forget you ever left the house without it.

Here’s the truth most people won’t tell you:
The people who seem the most confident often aren’t.

They’re just the ones who got really good at wearing their insecurities in style.

And honestly?
I respect that.

We’ve all worn disguises. We’ve all faked it till we almost made it.
So what if instead of pretending to be something we’re not, we owned the performance?
What if we polished those old disguises, stitched in some joy, some rebellion, some truth…
And stepped out into the world as bold, brilliant, unapologetic representations of ourselves?

What color lipstick does your inner child wear?

Does your higher self like stripes, or polka dots, or does she say screw it and wear both?

This is the kind of playful power we’ve been taught to suppress.
This is the kind of confidence we’ve been told to wait for.
But what if confidence isn’t waiting for us at the end of a healed journey or a “better” version of ourselves?

What if it’s right here, right now, asking to be claimed?

So let me ask you this:

What experiences are you holding yourself back from?
What relationships, opportunities, moments of joy or transformation are you delaying…
Simply because you’re too afraid to step out as you actually are?

Confidence isn’t about changing who you are, or becoming someone else.
True confidence is recognizing that who you are is already enough and deciding to show up, as her, at all times, in all situations.

So walk into the room like you own it.
Laugh too loud.
Wear the damn lipstick.
Mix the polka dots and the stripes.

And if you need to fake it for a little while, that’s okay.

Eventually, it won’t feel fake at all.