How to Slow Down Without Guilt: Reclaiming Stillness in a Productivity-Obsessed World
Why We Struggle to Slow Down
We live in a world that glorifies productivity, but no one teaches us how to slow down without guilt.
From a young age, we are taught to push on and push through. We hear it in adages like “ain’t no rest for the wicked” and “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Taking the rest we so deeply deserve isn’t something that’s revered as it should be, it’s something that’s demonized, especially for women.
We are told that we don’t have time to be tired. We are seen as lazy or selfish if we deem it necessary to take even 20 minutes to ourselves to rest, renew, and recalibrate our systems.
I have fallen into this trap more times than I can count.
Pulling all-nighters in college to get studio assignments to the point of absolute perfection, pushing my body and mind past their limits while my nervous system screamed for relief. Instead of this type of behavior being frowned upon, it was applauded and genuinely celebrated as the path to success, the “right” way to get ahead.
As I grew older (though not necessarily wiser when it came to honoring my body and mind), I learned to push past those cues even more aggressively. My last boss completely villainized the 40-hour work week, and not in the way one would hope. My exhaustion and 60-hour weeks were treated like badges of honor, proof of dedication.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that my overextension wasn’t getting me further ahead, it was hollowing me out. I kept pushing and pushing, thinking that eventually I would just “catch up,” finally reach the end of my to-do list and earn the rest I so desperately craved. But what I didn’t understand in those movements was that what I truly needed wasn’t to keep pushing forward but to pause.
But this, lovelies, isn’t a story about burnout.
It’s a story about remembering that stillness is not laziness. It is, however, a story of how we begin to realign with what matters most.
The Moment of Awareness
For the past couple of weeks, I have found myself back in that force mode, the “make it all happen” mindset, the “I’ll rest when I find the time” mentality. Let me save you some trouble: you’ll never find the time.
There will always be another call, email, appointment, errand, or obligation that takes precedence. I wasn’t following my usual routine for anything, not my walks, not my morning spiritual practice, not even simple check-ins.
The thing I’ve learned to both love and begrudge about the Universe is that when I won’t make time for stillness, it always finds a way to make it for me.
I was in the middle of scheduling content, building out my Black Friday offerings, reviewing client session notes, and prepping meals for the week. I was on top of everything (or so I thought).
And in the middle of a big batch of diced potatoes getting roasted, my oven starts screaming at me.
In an instant, all the balls I had tossed into the air came crashing down. After troubleshooting, calling my husband, and scrambling for tools we didn’t have, I finally realized what had happened, not just with my oven, but with me.
So I took my cue and I rested.
Without guilt. Without inner turmoil over all of the things I “should” be doing.
I took an intentional step away from all the hustle, all of the force, all of the noise. And I slowed the f down.
There have been so many times in my life where I have thought, been told, or heard other women speak about how rest is something that must be earned, something that, just like all of our other tasks, has to be worked hard and diligently for.
That, my friends, is what I call the cycle of depletion.
It’s the trap I fell into again when the Universe set off a blaring alarm to remind me: it’s time to tap out.
It shouldn’t have to get to that point. Because deep down, I know better.
So I sat down and asked myself one simple question:
“What is it that I actually need right now?”
THE TRUTH ABOUT EXHAUSTION
Exhaustion and overwhelm are signals, not weaknesses.
They’re how your body and brain tell you it’s time to rest, reset, and recalibrate. They’re the lighthouse on the shore, warning you before you crash against the rocks.
When we ignore those signals, we drift further from ourselves. But when we listen, when we pause and give ourselves what we actually need, we return to center.
When your nervous system is dysregulated, even the simplest task can feel like wading through quicksand. Stillness helps you climb out. It helps your system repair, regulate, and find steadiness again.
CREATING STILLNESS IN SMALL WAYS
Stillness doesn’t have to mean meditating for an hour or curling up for a nap. Not everyone finds rest in “restful” activities. Sometimes it’s just about the small pauses, the breath between tasks, the moments between the moments.
Five minutes of silence before opening your inbox.
A cup of tea without your phone.
Stepping outside between tasks just to breathe.
For me, stillness looks different depending on the day. Some mornings it’s going for a walk with zero distractions. Other days it’s standing barefoot on a patch of grass in my backyard between client calls. Sometimes it’s as simple as stepping away from my desk and my computer, turning on a song that hits the right frequency, and just letting myself move, fully present to every beat and rhythm blaring out of my living room speakers.
It doesn’t have to take much time. It sure as hell doesn’t require much effort. It just takes your presence.
The more I give myself those tiny pockets of stillness, the more everything else flows. My thoughts untangle. My energy feels lighter. The noise quiets. And I’m reminded, I don’t have to earn rest. I just have to let it in.
Where the Real Magic Lives
For those of you who, like me, once thought of stillness as being unproductive, as a sign of weakness or laziness, try to give yourself a little bit of grace and remember this:
When we create spaces where we can just be, spaces where we not only listen but can actually hear our thoughts and the whispers of the universe, that’s where the true magic is created.
We are not robots.
This human experience is worth more than clocking in, checking off boxes, and running on autopilot.
We are not broken.
We are just tired of running at a pace that was never meant to be ours.
An Invitation to Slow Down
If these words have resonated with you, I’d love to invite you to join me for Illuminate, a monthly gathering for women ready to slow down, reconnect, and realign with their rhythm.
There are no expectations, just presence, connection, and stillness.
You can find more information and reserve your spot at the link here.
